Massage

Today I treated myself to what I thought was going to be a relaxing massage.  Relaxing?  At times.  But mostly it was painful.  But pain and pleasure, like light and darkness, succeed each other.  The pain was welcome.  Now, this story wouldn't be an Angela story without some sort of snafu.  Don't worry - it's nothing like "I accidentally picked a Happy Ending type place."  

Upon entering the massage parlor I asked the front desk if I could use the bathroom.  She pointed me in the direction and I went in with guns a blazin'.... and ran SMACK into a young asian man who was coming around the hallway.  The lady showed me to my  massage area and I got prepared.  In walked my masseuse... Bob... the man I just run into.  Of course.  Wonderful.  The next thing I notice was that the divider between the two rooms was open.  They had opened the room up so my friend V and I could share a couple's massage.  Apparently we looked like lesbians... I mean, just because I was wearing a Redskin's jersey and V was in workout clothes, does not make us muff divers. 

Bob was ROUGH.  But let me tell you he worked out all my kinks in my neck and shoulders - the place where most my tension lies.  Having big breasts sores my neck and shoulders.  Being a teacher and carrying all those bags puts strain on my neck and shoulders.  Purses.  They eff up a woman's shoulders.  Needless to say I was very tight up there.  And I couldn't relax.  I would find myself pushing against him as he was trying to rub out my knots.  And I had to force myself to relax because I could sense him getting annoyed. 

He traveled down my body to the glutus maximus area.  And when he first dug his elbow in my backside, I clenched and laughed out loud.  It was strange.  But I got over it fast because it became pretty pleasant after the intial shock of him massaging that area. 

Then Bob traveled back up to my head.  If there's one thing I love more than myself, it's when someone massages/rubs my head.  But he didn't go for my head.  He went for my no-no zone - the collarbone area.  If you know me at all, you'll know that I FLIP the eff OUT when someone even comes NEAR my collarbone.  I can't even watch someone touch their own collarbone without cringing.  But I decided that maybe I should get over this horrible fear of mine and this might be the perfect time.  So, while we worked on that area, I took some deep breaths, closed my eyes and went back to the time where I THINK this irrational fear developed.

Rewind back to 1998 or so...  I was at my grandmother's house for one of our Korean celebrations.  All the cousins were there.  My cousin E was taking cheerleading classes and wanted to show me some moves.  At one point, I was sitting on the floor and she got on my shoulders.  I grabbed her hands and we started cheering.  I guess I lost my balance because I felt myself falling over.  And fall I did.  With E still on my shoulders and her hands in my hand.  I wasn't thinking and subsequently didn't let go of her hands and neither of us were able to catch ourselves with our hands....  E's shoulder caught the floor.  And with my hand still holding hers, I hear and FELT the cracking of her collarbone.  She was in SO much pain...

She wasn't able to cheer for a really long time after that.  And it was all my fault.  I felt TERRIBLE about it.  From that day on no one, not even myself, was allowed to come close to my collarbone.  Luckily, E went on to cheerlead in HS and at the U of A.  So, all was good in the world.

Then the timer rang and my session was up.  I thanked Bob and gave him an extra big tip for having to deal with my neurosis.  Am I cured of my collarbone issue?  No.  While in the car, I tried grazing it with my hand and I nearly vomited on the dashboard.  Will I be going back to see Bob?  Probably not... next time I'll ask for the asian lady to get a relaxing massage.