Impressions

After I finished my student teaching for grad school, the school asked me back to be a long-term sub for a teacher who was going on maternity leave.  I, of course, accepted and thus started my 2nd stint at teaching.  I immediately became friends with two teacher who worked there; a girl who worked next door to me who helped me out and the science teacher we know today as J.  We were fast friends... the three best friends that anyone's ever seen.  We hung out at recess, at lunch, outside of work at bars and in my classroom. 

J was in the process of going through a divorce from his wife when the nasty rumors started of the "intern" (read: me) was diddling the science teacher.  A) I wasn't diddling him (he he was still married) and B) It was always the three of us hanging out.  But, as gossipy teachers with no lives go, they found the fresh fish to narrow in on and twisted it into us having a relationship. 

Fast forward two years later to my new assistant principal, M, who just so happened to be a teacher at the aforementioned school.  Obviously he had heard the rumors as his first words to me on this first day at his new school was "Have you talked to, J?"  Seriously?  Even the guys?

Now, this is not me tooting my own horn by any means, and I'm not sure how it happens because of my initial shyness, but I tend to make friends easily.  I've been told by several friends on several occasions that people are drawn to me... I'm the flame to their moth.  So, it isn't a surprise that I've become friends with the people in my school who I work close with. 

The past week, on more than one occasion, I happened to be in my classroom with two of the younger male teachers when M walked by.  And not only was he walking by while two guys were simultaneously in my room, but he was walking by at the moment we happened to be laughing.  And each time he did this, he looked in with a curious look on his face. 

To fill you in on stuff so YOU don't get a negative impression of me, one of the dudes does intervention reading with half of my class so he was in there leaving things for his students and the other guy, the gym teacher, was in there asking me how I felt since I had been sick for the week.  But, I'm sure to an outsider, this could be misconstrued. 

M, I'm sure, has definitely gotten it twisted.  His old impression of me, based on rumors of me diddling the married teacher from the old school, has most likely been projected into his new impression of me at this new school.  And I guess I can understand that...  I mean, perhaps I would have thought the same thing if I were removed from the situation.  Should I be angry at this impression of him when, in fact, I am the common denominator in both situations? 

I wonder if I should be changing my work ethics...  sometimes I thing that I'm too friendly at work... that I joke too much.  But I NEED it.  I work in an environment where I would go crazy if I don't get adult interactions... and fun jokey interactions at that because the rest of the day is spend serious and teaching.  I don't know. 

Then I remind myself that one of my New Year's Resolutions was to stop caring about what people think of me.  And that's exactly what I'm going to do.  So, M, you go ahead and think what you will of me.  And I know I won't be able to change your first impressions about me.  So I'm going to go ahead living my life and doing what makes me happy.  And if joking with my coworkers makes me happy, then so be it.  Maybe next time you should join in and see exactly what's NOT going on.