We started the night out, C and I, decked out to the nines. Looking good in Clarendon was a must for newly single 23 year olds who were going out on the prowl. At around 9 we walked from C's apartment up the street to the bustly intersection of Washington and Highland... to the ever-so-famous Mister Dudes... Days. Normally our drink of choice would be vodka tonics, however, being such an important night, we decided shots of Patron were in order. With two under our belts we made our way to the dance floor and dropped it like it was hot. Picture this... two tall ladies; one asian, one white.... dancing like we were video vixens. Getting lots of attention. But not the attention of men that we thought we wanted.
We quickly closed out our tabs and walked across the street to C.Grill; a more desirable demographic. And then again, we dropped it like it was hot. And, of course, we ordered more Patron shots.
C and A: Cheers! ::clink Patron shots - LickedItSlammedItSuckedIt::
Random Dude: What are you ladies drinking?
C and A: Patron shots
Random Dude: That's intense. Celebrating anything?
C and A: Being awesome. And single.
Random Dude: Cool. Do you want a drink? I'm Chris XXXX and I have lots of money. (yes, this does in fact happen)
C and A: We're good. But thanks. Nice to meet you, Chris.
Random Dude: What are your names?
C: I'm Veronica
A: And I'm Natalie.
Random Dude: Come find me later when you guys want a drink.
C and A: Okay. We're gonna go dance.
Random Dude: I'll be watching.
We left the bar area, found a spot that wasn't visible to Chris and danced a little more. As the Patron started coursing through our bodies a little stronger, we decided that we want another shot; however, we didn't want to pay for it. That was when we remember Chris. Now, maybe it's just me being a huge B. But when a guy tells me he has lots of money I'm going to believe him and take advantage of him. C and I didn't want to talk to him so we decided to take orders into our own hands (I blame the liquid courage at this point).
Bartender: What can I get you ladies?
C and A: Two shots of patron. Chilled.
Bartender: ::bringstheshots:: Tab?
C and A: Chris XXXXX
Bartender: Who's tab is that?
C and A: ::lookingateachother:: It's this guy Chris'.
Bartender: Who?
Obviously the bartender thought we were trying to pull a fast one on him. Our hearts start pounding. How were we going to talk our way out of this one? As luck would have it, we saw Chris at the end of the bar chatting up some other ladies. Phew.
C and A: CHRAAAS! ::frantically waving our hands::
::Chris looks up and sees us::
C and A: CHRAAAS!! Hey CHRAAS!!
::Chris waves back to us::
C and A: That's Chris
Bartender: Okay. Thanks.
SCORE!! We had pulled it off. We took the shots and went back to dancing. We only went back on more time to get another round of Patron shots and then decided that it was time to go. When we walked outside the tequila took it's toll... we were shit housed. I mean, beyond drunk. We teetered down the street back to C's apartment but made a pit stop to sit down on the corner of a busy intersection... in a planter.
C sat first and couldn't keep her balance so she fell backwards into the planter... and got stuck. I sat down and leaned forward as not to fall back like C. And that's when I felt the bile rising in my throat.
The first wave came and I threw up on the ground with some vomit splattering onto my heels. And I felt better. I looked over to C who was frantically trying to get up but was too drunk to do so. I remember thinking she looked like a turtle one his back trying to get up and couldn't. But damnit if she wasn't trying her hardest. And that made me laugh. And then I needed to throw up again. So I turned my head and threw up in the planter this time. And then kept laughing because C was still trying to get up. Apparently one's core becomes weak when drinking Patron because she could not get up. And she was making lots of weird noises and laughing. And that made me laugh. But that made me want to throw up. I'm sure we looked like fools to people walking by.
Eventually I stopped interchangably laughing and puking enough to help C get up. After surveying the damage, we quickly started walking back home. And by walking, I mean stumbling. There was no stumbling in a straight line that night... we were zig zagging. We must have looked so bad because that night not one, but TWO seperate cars stopped to ask us if we were a) okay and b) needed a ride home. We declined both times and continued stumbling home, all the while, screaming out "CHRAAS! Thanks CHRAAAS!" the entire way back.
[Ed. Note: This story took place many many years ago. I was reminded of this night this past weekend and it made me smile... For those who are wondering, we managed to get home unscathed and not arrested. ]
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