All in the Jeans

Let's start with something that made me chuckle:
Mexican joke and black jokes are pretty much all the same.... once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Now, I'm going to brag about something that none of you (well, maybe my girls) will be remotely interested in or can relate to.  So, guys, I will not be offended if you do not continue to read this.  Here goes:  I fit into my "skinny" jeans.  And no, I'm not talking about the hipster type skinny jeans that are all the rage.  I'm talking my jeans that used to fit when I was a lot smaller that I've held onto in hopes that one day I would fit into them.  Are they the skinniest of my "skinny" jeans?  No, but like my transformation into a more grown up me, I'm taking baby steps.  Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Growing up I was the awkward chubby kid.  No confidence.  No sense of style.  No breasts (puberty hit me late in life).  I had friends (some of the popular kids even) and had a pretty active social life until I changed schools and had to make.new.friends.  Oh, the horror.  And it was hard.  I was the new kid in high school and I hadn't found my niche yet.  Eventually, I found what made me happy and with that came the friends.  But still, I was awkward, chubby and had low self-esteem. 

It wasn't until senior year of high school that I magically woke up with large C cup breasts.  And hips.  I had no idea what to do with them.  So I did what any high school girl would do - I flaunted them.  But I was still awkward so it didn't really matter too much.  In fact, I think I only let 2 boys actually touch them (only two).  When I got to college, I avoided the Freshmen 15 and, instead, managed to drop a lot of weight.  How?  I'm not quite sure.  But it was awesome.  I finally felt great about myself and was having fun with lots of dude.  I even went out with two dudes from the basketball team (Michelle - you keep your mouth shut).

It wasn't until after college that I started to come into my own.  I learned how to accentuate my positives and hide my flaws.  It was here that I started to feel pretty.  And in turn, people could see that.  And they became drawn to it.  Confidence is sexy.  And it wasn't until this time in my life that I was fully able to see that.  So, from then on, I became better and better inside and out. 

And then sometimes you get into a relationship that makes you forget that eating out and laying around together and drinking wine all the time isn't good for your waist line.  And when that expands, your confidence plummets.  And then you become insecure.  And that's when all hell breaks loose.  And then you break up.  Then you realize and accept what happened and then you start getting your life back together.  And that's when the confidence comes back.  And you look and feel great again.  This is where I am right now. 

Going back to the beginning, I am now able to fit into my "skinny" jeans from even before I started this past relationship.  I am making a promise to myself to continue to work on myself until I can reach the college me.  And I will not let any relationship keep me from doing that.  I hate to say such a corny line, but... like a fine wine, I keep getting better with age.  And being Asian has helped this case.  A lot.  And it's awesome!

It's interesting to see how much a pair of "skinny" jeans can do for a person's confidence...  I guess sometimes materialistic things can bring out amazing qualities in a person.