Kids are Hilarious

The later it gets into the school year (only 11 days left of school), the more entertaining I find my students.  And they say and do the funniest stuff sometimes.  Here are a few snippets of recent.

dropping my kid off at specials
Mr. N:  You going to the HH? 
Me:  Yes
Mr. N:  Is your boy coming?
::nosy students::
B:  Ms. K, you have a son?
Me:  No
R:  A husband?
Me:  No
J:  Oh, a wife!
Me:  ::smh::  Guess I need to review personal pronouns and stuff.


during guided reading
Me:  Alright friends, take me on a picture walk
::hysterical laughter from two male students::
Me:  What's so funny boys?
::looking at each other and laugh louder::
Me:  K, what's so funny? 
K:  D wants to take you on a real walk, Ms. K
D (who looks so fly with his double pierced ears):  COME ON MAN.  That's a secret!!


words they can't pronounce:
calerpitter = caterpillar
hanitizer =  hand sanitizer
bikini = zucchini
liberry = library
value = volume
jes = yes (althought this is a language thing)
booboopbob =  bibimbap
incest = insect
hog dog = hot dog


My mini-me seems to be the apple of ALL the little boys' eyes.  Anytime one of them has the microphone to share, they stare directly at her and only her.  They look for a reaction or approval from her.  And each one of them will try and upstage the other one.  Their stories are totally fake but she buys into them and, from what I can tell, humors them by laughing.  She loves that they pay her attention.  Yesterday, we watched a movie about Susan B. Anthony.  And during the movie, I noticed that she and another girl in my class were HOLDING HANDS!!  They were holding hands like I used to do when I went to a movie with my ex.  Is mini-me into girls?  Lesbihonest, I'm beginning to think that's the way to go. 

The other day I wore heels and by the end of the school day, in addition to walking NYC adventure, my feet were killing me... so I changed into my owl slippers.  And then my 2nd mini-me came to school the next day wearing these (she claims her mom "forced" her to wear them - likely story, little one.  You just wanna be like me):

Where can I get a pair that fit me?  Love, love!

My boys are outta control... dirty, rough and tumble, aggressive.  So it was mindblowing to me to see them dancing and acting like little girls...  may I present to you, my boys.  They are pretending to twirl their hair while singing "Be a lady... wa-uh-oh, be a lady..... that's what I am!"

My hamstrings were killing me after doing kickboxing the other day.  So I was walking a little funny. 

J:  Ms. K, why are you walking like that?  Do you need to use the bathroom?