I cannot tell a lie...

I did it.

I was at M's wedding this past weekend when I did it.  And you know what they say about weddings...  what happens at a wedding stays at a wedding.  No, wait.  That's not right. 

Well... there was lots of alcohol.  And my nerves were on edge because of my fear of having to give the MOH speech and so I drank.  A lot.  When the speech was over and when the DJ had amped up the dance floor, that's when I did it.  I'm not proud of it.  But I did it anyway. 

The first few beats of the song came on.  And I felt it in my fingers.  And my toes.  That's when it happened.  I did it.  I did the Gangnam Style dance.  On the dance floor.  Surrounding by a ton of people.  And I was right on beat.

Now, I wasn't the only one doing it... if that's what you were wondering.  There was another Asian girl there that people were watching do this dance, too.  And, playing way too much into the stereotype, we were totally hamming it up for people.  It was interesting to see the different styles we brought to it.  And when we thought that people were totally into it, we looked up and noticed that the crowd was watching someone else.

What?  There couldn't be another Asian at the wedding.  M and J only know two.  When I finally looked up I saw that the amazing dancer was a tall, lanky, white Jewish teenager with a blonde 'fro.  And he was singing all the words.  I mean, I don't even know all the words (which should bring shame to my country).  I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little jealous. But he was incredible.    And he was adorable and he was getting at it.  He went H.A.M to Gangnam Style.  You go boy! 

So, there you have it friends.  I did it.  I kept calm and Gangnam Styled. 

Maybe....

Maybe it's because I have cabin fever...

Maybe it's because I'm finally letting go of things...

Maybe it's because I looked up what "grey hairs" means in the dream dictionary after I dreamed it and finally wised up...

But I ran across this and I felt the need to share it with you all.  It's from an episode of Grey's Anatomy.  I used to watch this show religiously and quoted when needed. But life got in the way.  Things got busy and complicated.  And priorities where made.  And I stopped watching.  I"m slowly getting back into it and it's as if I never missed a beat.  Regardless, I still love the writing from the show.  I'm sure every girl out there who has ever had her heart broken has, at one point, felt the pain in this quote.  Here you go...

On a brighter note... Hurricane Sandy turned out to be just like the Sandy in Grease... a big ole' tease.  No power outages in Shirlington...  just good friends, good food, good wine and horribly cheesy scary movies.  Good thing we stocked up on liquor and Popeyes.  Thanks for 2 days off of work for me to catch up on my grading... and sleeping...  it was much needed. 

How Could I Forget?

Oh man!  Worst development of my life... worst day of my life!!

After a delicious dinner of pho and spring rolls (let us not forget completely embarrassing ourselves to the waiter and his FBI friends) I stopped by my friend A's new townhouse to see her and her new digs... but mostly to drop off her credit card that she forgot to get after binge drinking at my birthday party at Ozio.  I mean, honestly, who let's the birthday girl in charge of closing people's tabs?  She's lucky I was still coherent enough to do that.  I digress...

So I get to her house and immediately being to cuddle with her puppy, P, on her bed.  And as I'm looking around her room, my eyes beeline for a thin rectangular box.  And my heart sinks.  And I die a little inside.  HOLY SHIT!!  My Ollivander's wand from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.... 

I didn't get it back after the break up.  It's still at J's house.  On a shelf... just sitting there.  And I bet he doesn't even realize he has it.  Sad pickles.  Obviously I won't be getting it back.  And I'm going to have to accept it... but now, riddle me this.  If I were to go back to TWWOHP and go back to Ollivander's, would the same wand pick me again?  Because, after all, it's the wand that picks you... not the other way around.  Hmmm....

::the drama in this post has been greatly exaggerated, or has it?:: 

Day of Birth

It's official. It's my birthday.  And I'm not going to lie... I have mixed feelings about it.  Not so much about being older.  I'm having mixed feelings about change.

This time last year I was in a happy relationship and my bf at the time was planning (what turned out to be) the best birthday I've ever had.  I had my friends there, my family was there... good entertainment and lots of alcohol at my favorite place at the time.  This year's birthday had all the same making minus the bf.  I have great friends.  No.  I have amazing friends.  My family was there.  There was plenty of entertainment.  And plenty of alcohol.

So really, it wasn't that much different.  And I'm not the kind of girl who is happy only when she has a bf.  So, why did this make me have such mixed feelings?  I'm not sure.  Maybe it's because things change.  And people change.  And there's nothing I can do about it.  I have to either embrace the change or let it change me.

So, for this new chapter of my life, that's what I'm going to do.  I'm going to embrace the change.  New dress size.  New apartment with a new roommate.  New school year.  New hopes.  New attitude.

Who is with me?

just one of those days

Murphy's Law...  anything that can go wrong will go wrong.  Today was just one of those days. 
Now, I'm usually a positive person but the past few days has not been so pleasant...  and while I don't want to blame my job for it... well, I sort of have to.  Don't get me wrong... I love teaching and the joy I get from my students, but some days (more recently) it's been a struggle. 

I'll go ahead and make this bullet point because it'll be easier for you to read... and let's be honest, it's all about you guys.

• I snoozed too many times that I couldn't shower this morning (GASP!!  so unlike me, I know). 
• Forgot to pack utensils in my lunch box.  Had to use the school cafeteria's unsturdy "plastic" fork.
• Testing today went all wrong... had student's who were supposed to test missing and some who shouldn't test in my room. 
• Found a hole in the crotch of my leggings.  Oops!
• Tripped over my student's exercise ball chair.
• Read aloud a math test... students at my kidney table made it seem like I had never taught any of the concepts.  Wanted to cry... held it back.
• Was late to CLTs, to which I was bombarded by several people about me being late (and actually, I wasn't the latest... and might I add that I was late because I was escorting my teammate's class to their specials because she accidentally dropped them off at MY specials).  Bit my tongue literally and figuratively during the meeting.
• Was late picking up my kids from PE... got an earful from the PE man. 
• One of my kids told another kid that Hello Kitty was the devil.  How DARE you?
• Cancelled my science lesson because my kids can't get along.
• Gave myself a "time out" and sat in the chill out chair for about 10 minutes while the kids just sat in silence, stunned.
• The last bus to come was the one that majority of my students ride. 
• Driving home from HH, I hit EVERY SINGLE light. 

So, bare with me the next few days... it's a rough time for me professionally but that's what usually happens right?  One aspect of life isn't as great as the others... life is all about balance. 

On a happier note... one week until my birthday.  Be ready to party balls with me this weekend! 

Not Coming Back On A High Note....

I don't know where to begin....  this post definitely isn't coming back on a good note.  I know I've been away for a long time.  I've been away because, to be honest, school started and I am completely overwhelmed.  I'm not one to let people know how overwhelmed I am (I like to look cool as a cucumber at all times), but I'm about to unleash it all over you.  And I'm okay with it. 

Let's rewind to the summertime when my principal thought it would be a great idea to have a co-teaching model in each grade.  Classes were put together with all the low ESOL students in one class and the SPED students in another.  My grade level this year has 6 classes... there is only one SPED student identified, however, there are so many ESOL students that 2 classes had to be made.  Mine was one of them.  Fast forward to the beginning of the school year when the principal decided that only grades 3-6 would have a co-teaching model. 

Herein lies the problem... he didn't get rid of 2nd grade's ESOL classes.  And so, my class of 20 students has 95% ESOL students... with no support.  I have 15 students who are SEVERLY below grade level (almost a Kindergarten grade level) and 2 that are already at a 3rd grade level.  I have NO.IDEA.HOW.TO.MAKE.THIS.WORK!!

Things that the other 2nd grade classrooms can do in one day, takes my class a few days.  I am behind already with no catching up in sight.  I try to give enrichment stuff to my two high students but they wiz right through.  They are done with all of there work before I'm even finished introducing a concept to the rest of the class... and what do I do with these two high students?  I put them on the comptuer.... or, if need be, have them help the other students.  This can't go on the rest of the year.  But I'm so worried about how to reach my ESOL students that my two highs get the shaft.  The idea of differentiating within ALL of the different levels is so daunting.  I don't even know where to begin. 

The good news is that the other ESOL class is the same as mine... and that teacher and I are always working together and corroborating and complaining... so I"m not alone.  And the other teachers are always there for me... though I don't think some of them completely get what we are going through (not including you, M... I know you get it).  The other "ESOL" teacher and I have already had crying sessions after school together.  We've had several HH just the two of us to unwind after long days.  We've bonded over being overwhelmed and frustrated. 

I'm frustrated that my students aren't learning.  I'm frustrated that I don't know how to teach ESOL students.  I'm frustrated that they gave me the ESOL class with no ESOL support (I only speak un pocito Spanish and I can't ask "where is the bathroom?" all day and expect them to learn).  I'm frustrated that my schedule doesn't accomodate the support we need.  I'm frustrated that I don't know what to do. 

I will go ahead and say that I did feel completely validated when the assistant principal looked at my reading levels and asked who put these classes together.  Even he can see what a mistake it was.  And he is even helping switch schedules around in order for my students (and me) to get more support.  And I am very appreciative of that. I know I will do my very best.  But it's really hard to stay positive when I feel like I am failing my students.  This year will definitely be a huge test for me. 

Side note:  for all you people out there that tell me that teacher's don't deserve summer vacations, you can shut the eff up.  Walk in my shoes for one day and tell me we don't deserve it for the shit money we get paid.  Don't get me wrong... I love my job and I love how rewarding it is, but as in life, there are days when I feel like giving up.  Anyone who says otherwise is lying.