Bacheloretty Party Part 1

This past weekend I was introduced to my new favorite YouTube celebrity.  And something she posted (that we watched and laughed about in the hotel bed) resonated with me and the debauchery that happened in Atlantic City. 
...Jaime Foxx taught me to blame it on the alcohol.  That alone eliminates a lot of things that I was concerned about before.  That shits not my fault.  That Goose had me feelin' loose...

 Here is the run-down on all the stuff that we will blame on the alcohol.  But first, let me show you our bathroom for the weekend.  Mirrors galore... like a fun house.  It was great being able to watch ourselves vomit from all sorts of angles... Thanks, Donald Trump.  You sure know what the ladies like.

Please note that Katniss Everdeen joined us for the bachelorette party.

Friday night was supposed to be our "low-key" night...  pshh...  I know what you're thinking.  Low-key night for a bachelorette weekend?  You've got to be kidding me.  You're right... we
 were kidding ourselves.   Here is a picture of the bride before dinner/drinks:

Notice how put together she is.  And notice the shoes... won't stay that way for long.

First night started off with dinner at Bobby Flay's Steakhouse at the Borgata.   BEST.MASHED.POTATOES.EVER!!  Thank goodness for those mashed tators or we would all have died.... little known fact: carbs are your friends during a bachelorette party weekend.  Whilst dining, Mallory went to the restroom and came back with a nice gentleman from NY in tow... oh look, here he is.  Ladies and Germs... say hello to Jamie.

Here is Jamie taking a spin on Mallory's drink wheel. 

He took a liking to Mallory's sister, "Kendra"...  he came back several times to chat with her and persuade us to have our "big" night with them at Mur.Mur.  Ummm, we were somewhat sober at this point so we were slightly hesitant.  And that's when the Goose started to make us loose... because this one time he came back with a round of shots.  Note to self:  bachelorettes get free shit.  Pretend to be a bachelorette the next time we go out. 

Slowly.... being... persuaded.... Then Jamie brought over the rest of his hedgefund friends... and they are the quintessential hedgefund NYers... flaunting their money... older... hairy.. wanted some young girls.  This one guy Mike would not give up.  And he persuaded us to go up with him (only him) to their Suite to get some champagne...  Blame.It.On.The.Alcohol.  And that is exactly what we did.  We went up with him (ready to 2, 3, 2 his ass if he got out of hand) and drank ALL OF THEIR ALCOHOL.  

First the champagne toast - we killed all 2 bottles. 

Look how cute we are!

So at this point you're probably wondering with this guy Mike looks like...  I'll get to that.  But the talls noticed that Mike liked the young smalls so we went exploring.  Here is Mallory and I riding in the elevator to their upstairs loft. 

Don't judge us... our heels were killing us.  Stairs would not do. 

Immediately upon exiting the elevator we saw a piano.  So we yelled down to Michelle to come up and see the piano...  Here is a picture of her REALLY REALLY excited to run up and see the piano whilst Mike talked to the smalls... 

Wait for me!  Michelle says

And this is where we blame the alcohol again.  We decide to take a photoshoot.  On.Top.Of.The.Piano.  Like this one:

And this is me trying to be sexy... attempt #1:

Nope... not quite. 

Attempt #2.... 

Nailed it!  But check out the dumps in the truck. Yoinks!

Here is Michelle attempting to do sexy piano time:

And here is Mallory trying to same:

And then we went into the hot tub area/massage parlor/sauna/fitness room...  let's just say we took some photos of us doing weird things.  Wading in the hot tub... running on the treadmill holding a glass of champagne... pretending to give birth on the creepy massage table... licking the nozzles from the showers...  Blame it on the alcohol, remember?  So now you're probably thinking that Mallory and I are horrible sister for leaving our baby sisters with random Mike.  Well, we went to check on them and here they are. 

Look how happy them look to be embraced by Mike. 

At this point, we all went back into the kitchen to make more drinks.  Here is a close up picture of Mike preparing our RB&Vs... 

Who is going to make out with me later?

After we finished our drinks, Mike escorted us to Mur.Mur where he and his friends had gotten table service.   So we joined them.  Except his friends are no where to be found.  They kept gambling... while we drank all their liquor.  It was us and Mike.  And all the free alcohol we could drink. 

Here we are enjoying our first night out courtesy of Mike.

Here is Mallory dancing on the table:

And here is the lady dancer with the best ass that night:

And when we couldn't drink anymore, we went to the "bathroom" and dipped out leaving Mike sitting at the table all alone... a bitch move, right?  Remember friends, we're blaming it on the alcohol. 
I wonder how long he waited until he realized we left without saying good-bye...  or how long he sat there waiting for his other friends to come back... or how much shit he got for letting us drink their alcohol without putting out? 

Remember that before picture of Mallory?  Well, once we got back to the hotel Mallory decided that she wanted to sit down.  And take off her shoes.  And pass out in the middle of the hall... 

Hey!  Where did you get those socks?

Soooooo... that was just the first night.  And all the stupid things we did that is 100% blamed on alcohol.  Thanks Jaime Foxx for giving us a excuse to act a fool. 

Part 2 of Bachelorette Weekend coming soon!