Bachelorette Party Part 2

We started our morning after by eating leftover chicken tenders in bed.  Wash that down with some Pedialyte and we were good to go.... and by go, I mean back to bed for another hour.  We finally dragged our hungover asses up (won't tell you who threw up the night before, however, I will say that we each all vomitted that weekend) and got dressed for lunch.  As I was walking to the bathroom, Kat fucking screamed and it shocked all of us.  All she could say, in her hungover state, was "the chair!" as she pointed to the hotel chair.  "The Chair!!"  As I walk over to the chair she is pointing at, I noticed that I disappeared.  Ooooh, shit!  Check out the camo!

Didn't see me there, did ya?

After a few laughs we decided that we were in desperate need for some pho.  Lucky for us, D. Trump knows what's up and had a noodle place right down the stairs.  We're talking pho with tripe and tendon and some sort of meatball that resembled testicles.  And it was as delicious as it was life saving.  Our server was amazing and brought over some free dessert.  Again:  bachelorettes get free shit.  Pretend to be one the next time we get pho... I mean, go out.

green tea and coconut gelato.  yumsicles!

Our after lunch plan of outlet shopping, boardwalking and Cinco de Mayo barhopping turned into a 3 hour nap....  ::drool::  And it was very welcomed.  Upon waking up, we made reservations for dinner and got dressed to go out.  With no intention of drinking.  Pssh!  I know, right?  Dinner at Continental was delightful... and we were suckered into getting some Watermelon Margaritas.  We decided to push ourselves and continued to drink.  After dinner, we wandered around the slots at Caesars and lost big bucks!  Mallory: -20, Michelle: -50, Angela: -1.  Damn you and your stupid haircut!!  Our night was ruined.....

.... that is until we walked next door to Bally's and walked into the Wild Wild West... a 24 hour HH Saloon.  $2 bought you either a shot, a mixed drink or a beer.  Ummm, jackpot!  After we got several rounds and watched the dancers on the bar, we decided to walk around the place.  This was the exact moment we ran into the friendliest Marines ever.  With our bachelorette dare cards in tow, we had a blast challenging ourselves.  Enjoy!

Spun the wheel and landed on beer.

Oh, hello there hotness!  Your friends told us you would take your shirt off and flex...  my only question:  how is he able to maintain such a body if he's.... well, you know?  Kudos to him!

Mallory - what exactly is it that we are woohooing? 

OH! that's right!  You got not one, but TWO men to take off their boxers and give them to you at the bar.  I hope you used some handsanitizer!

So that bar was amazing... I mean, how can you not have a great time at a bar that has a midget as their hype man.  Check it out!

Is this picture keeping me from getting into heaven?

On to the next bar!!
We travelled all the way to Atlantic City to watch..... you guessed it, Kristen & the Noise!!!
Back to the Borgata to the Gypsy Club to hear some covers and make googly eyes at their guitarist.

I just met you.. and this seems crazy... but here's my number... so call me, maybe.

During intermission we found a spot to rest our feet and we were immediately bombarded by a group of Lawyers from...  wait for it, wait for it.... NYC!  These fellas were up for anything.  Hillary drew a card that said to kiss a man with a mustache.  Wouldn't you know it, one of them had the most molestor mustache ever. 

See the dude in the straw hat photobombing?  Turns out it was his bachelor party and he ordered the wedders-to-be (is this right?) a blow job shot.  Unlike myself, who can take a blow job shot like noneother, Mallory couldn't get her mouth around the glass.  And, if you can imagine, the whole bar starts chanting "her poor fiance!"  Me, being a good bridesmaid, held the glass up for her to take the shot. 

Relaxin the throat like a champ!  Atta girl!

Then there was their friend, Pilot, who was an Air Traffic Controller.  Here are several pictures of him at the bar.... not sure about you but after seeing this, I never want to fly ever again.

I know, right?  Moving right along...

We finally met their friend Basil.  You read that right... his name was Basil.  I checked his ID and everything.  Basil.  He seemed to be the most sober and nicest one of the group.  So naturally I gave him the worst card and that changed both of those attributes.  Unfortunately, I will not tell you the name of the shot as it is highly offensive but I will tell you that it contained Jim, Jack, Johnny and Jose.  Yoinks! And what's more unfortunate is that he would only take that shot if I took one with him.  And even more unfortunate about this whole episode is that I didn't say no.  Vomit on a dick it was disgusting!!

Gross!

 And this is the point where we all had to leave...  but not without getting a group shot!

Wait... I think that guy was as drunk as us...  he took a video.  One more turn.

Shooooot.... no dice.  Then we found someone who had not just taken a disgustingly foul shot.

Nailed it!

None of us remember the cab ride home.  And none of us remember how we found our way back to the hotel room.  But when we woke up the next morning, we found chicken tenders in our bed and honey mustard stains on the sheets.... at least we hope it was honey mustard.  We will never know.  Now that's what you call a great weekend!

Here are some things we will take away with us from this weekend:

1. Cabs cannot charge more than $15 dollars for a trip.
2. Bachelorettes get free shit errywhere they go.
3. Kristen and the Noise are awesome at any venue.
4. Alcohol is the devil.
5. Chicken tenders are magical foods.
6. Melissa Gorga's "On Display" should be every girl's theme song.
7. Michelle likes to be cuddle-raped.
8. Pedialyte is not effective if thrown up right after drinking it. 
9. There are no Taco Bells on the ride home that are easily accessible.
10. Donald Trump is no where to be found in AC.