Shel Silverstein....

... was a genius.  His art, poetry, writing and music translated through decades.  Anyone who read/hear his stuff can identify and relate, no matter age, location, or experience.  A true Renaissance Man.  My students love reading his poems and I LOVE reading strange ones to my students.  My students laugh till they cry, cringe at the gross and cry at the sad. 

One of his poems "Masks," from a book of his collections created after his death, uses simple language and storytelling to address a complex problem that affects children, teenagers, the elderly.... people of all ages.  Here is a snapshot of it.

I can't tell you how much I love this poem.

A true artist can create something so simple and evoke different reactions.  Our interpretations of such art usually tells us much about ourselves and it does the art.  People's experiences, or lack there of, make us look at things differently.  Everyone struggles with their own personal version of "blue skin."  I read this poem and thought of the sadness and the journey of finding true love.  Some people, after reading reviews about this poem, thought of atheism (I don't get that but to each their own).  Other people related this to insecurities in people and their quest to hiding themselves thinking no one would understand.  Others think of cultural differences. 

Regardless of what you though of while reading the poem, it made you think.  And made you reflect.  It's amazing to me to see that such "simple" children's poem, especially ones that Shel Silverstein wrote, have such deeper meanings then they appear.  It's why I love reading the poems to my 2nd grade students - it makes them think deeper and out of the box.  This poem will definitely be read in my class the first week of school.

Speaking of school, I go back tomorrow for Teacher Workdays... a little bittersweet.  On the bright side, once school starts I can officially begin the countdown to Summer Vacation again.

So I say to myself "Halloween already"?

I went shopping today and was inundated with racks and racks of Halloween costumes.  It's not even September.  But that got me to thinking that this is the time of the year where I would be starting to think about my Halloween costume.  Do I do a homemade costume?  Am I part of a couple?  Do my friends want to do a group thing?  How skanky do I go? 

Fortunately for me, I will be in my best friend's wedding Halloween weekend so I won't have to even THINK about what to wear this year.  And I am so grateful for that.  But I know some of you will  need some ideas since you will not able to attend this amazing vineyard wedding.  So, I have come across some costumes that I think are amazing and would LOVE to see if some of you guys in them (through pictures of course)!  Here are some of my favorite homemade costumes... some of these are costumes on children but can easily be adapted to adults.

My favorite of the bunch is the yearbook picture costume.  I was actually just talking yesterday about back to school and being stressed and that reminded me of my elementary/middle school photos and how in EVERY SINGLE one of my school pictures I had a cold sore on my lip because I used to stress out SO MUCH about what to wear and how to do my hair.  I digress.  Here's a photo for the costume:

Up was one of my favorite animated movies.  I laughed, I cried, I geeked over how cute Russell was.  Here are two pictures that I think are awesome... yes, it might be old news and not relevant, but damnit, I still love them!

Something a little more relevant would be everyone's favorite swimmer, Michael Phelps.  Below you will see a picture of a costume that could be used... looks like lots of these things could be found lying around or at a store.  I think the arm floaties are hilarious... as would be adding a subway sub and/or a joint.

Alright - you guys already know by now my obsession for Johnny Depp.  This next costume idea needs to introduction or explainations. 

The next one is for a group of girls.  This is the one time for you to dress skanky as hell and not get shit for it.  Here is a group costume idea that pays homage to one of the worst (read:best) fast food restaurant out there.  You can change the phrase on the packet to say something equally as skanky as the outfit about a "taco"or such. 

Last, I present to you a couple's outfit.  Men loves boobs.  Why not let them dress as one.  What a great idea!! 

.....and you're welcome!  Can't wait to see all the Halloween pictures!

It's That Time Again....

.... another list!!  Yay!  Try and contain your excitement.  Often times I get told that I have horrible taste in movies.  Sometimes I agree with that, other times I want to slap that person across the face because, bitch, I have great taste in everything!  I know when movies are horrible.  But that doesn't mean that I don't love that movie.  I love horrible movies.  Here are a few movies that, by Oscar standards, are horrible but will always have a place in my heart.

• Don't Mess with the Zohan
• Zoolander
• What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
• Honey
• She's the Man
• Dumb & Dumber
• To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything... Julie Newmar
• Year One
• Austin Powers
• The Wedding Singer
• Who's Harry Crumb?
• Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead
• 3 Ninjas
• Any Pauly Shore movie
• Kicking and Screaming
• Camp Nowhere
• Can't Hardly Wait
• Drop Dead Gorgeous

Feel free to add to the list... 

Confession

Okay.  So I might be a little obsessed with Pinterest (but that's not my real confession).  I like to browse things that I would love to own one day but will NEVER be able to afford.  Those black and tan Christian Louboutain shoes?  Never gonna happen.  That hanging hammock over the infinity pool?  Not in a million years.  Oh, how about that Vera Wang wedding gown with the gorgeous sash?  In my dreams!!  But I browse anyway because I am a glutton for punishment.  There are some things on the site that do make me feel better.  They have cute quotes on love, life and happiness.  And their recipes are good for someone like me.  But there are pins, whether it be a picture or a phrase, that immediately conjures up a memory that makes you laugh/cry/smile/frown... and you usually pin it because you relate to it so much... and in my case, make a confession.

I stumbled upon this picture: 

And it made me smile because I've so often times had the same thought when someone gets in the elevator on the first floor and hits 2.  And then I start to feel like a hypocrite because, while I've had those thoughts, I have done the same thing.  So here is my confession.  I park on the B2 level of my condo building whenever I need to park in Arlington.  And I have to go up to the 1st floor (only one level up) to go to the lobby to leave the building.  If I am alone, I'll usually just go for it.  However, there have been times when I enter from B2 and someone else has been in the elevator.  And I don't want to be THAT girl.  So, instead of hitting the 1st floor button, I go up to the 4th floor.... wait a few seconds... and hit the down button to go back down to the 1st floor.  I know, I know... pathetic. 

Phew...  they say that you feel better after confessing something because you're not holding anything in.  Man, I can't tell you how good I feel getting that off my chest.  I might start confessing things more often.

H.A.M.

I spent this past weekend packing up my dear friend, R, who is moving to Richmond to start her life with her new husband.  My job was to stand in her closet hold up clothes and her telling me if it was staying or being donated.  Sometimes we were on the same page and sometimes, M, her roommate would just come grab stuff from my hands and put it in the donate pile even before R could even choose.  And then we would all start laughing and crying.  Because it was bittersweet. 

I had imagined this experience going the way they show it in Sex and the City... you know, with Carrie in the closet and Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte sitting on the bed drinking champagne and listening to awesome 80s music.  But it wasn't... at the time.  Later in the evening, we went out for R and G's going away party.  And let me tell you, the night we spend drinking champagne, laughing and listening to awesome 90s music.  So, it worked itself out.

The night started at Hunan One and if you know anything about me, one of those big beers knocks me on my ass.  Maybe it was the emotions or the pacing of alcohol after that (dear Lord, I MUST be growing up) or the food I ate but I was fine!!  So we moved our party over to Clarendon Grill to listen to a not-so-known cover band and they were awesome.  I mean, what other cover band plays One Direction?  I had a video to upload to show the ridiculousness that was last night, but I keep getting an error message.  I'll keep looking into that.  In the meantime.. Here are some picture to document the night.

The happy couple!

R:  How much money would it take for you to hook up with the dude behind us?

 

G.I. Joe was in town!

Celebrating one of the last weekends before school starts up again.  Woomp Woomp!

...that's what makes you beautiful, giiiiirl!...

Enjoying the sounds of One Direction, TLC, Notorious B.I.G...

Insert Kat

The drink ninja strikes again... it's not hide yo' kids hide yo' wife, but hide yo' vodka drinks.

Next, maybe I show you a photo montage of the shit show that was the dance floor!

Thanks, and good night!

Like a Boss

I love cooking.  It's one of the things that makes me a good girlfriend and a bad girlfriend at the same time.  Unfortunately, I don't do it much at home because of several reasons:

1. I'm never usually home.
2. Currently I live back home with my parents and
• my dad eats super early
• my mom usually goes to the gym at night and will only eat a bowl of cereal for dinner
• I'm never aware of my brother's sleeping pattern
3. I don't do the grocery shopping most of the times and don't know what's in the house.

I plan on moving out in September and I plan on doing a lot of cooking.  My future roommate does not cook much so it'll be nice to have someone who will eat my cooking.  And she does, in fact, have a crock pot so it'll be a lot of setting and forgetting stuff.  I can't wait.  I've been doing a lot of searching through Pinterest and have come across lots of different recipes that I want to give a try (I mean, who else can you trust to have the same taste in food as you than millions of strangers from God knows where?).  Everything is worth trying once, right?  How else are you going to know what you like or don't like.

I'm looking forward to making this:

Crockpot Korean BBQ tacos

and this:

Spicy Greek Chicken Burger Pitas

and this:

Stuffed Peppers

and this:

Onion Rings

and this:

Pot Roast

But you know what all of these recipes have in common?  Onions.  And while onions are delicious anyway prepared, they are the devil.  Onions make.me.cry.  Always.  It doesn't matter if I'm simply peeling the onion or making one small slice.  I always shed tears over this vegetable.  So, while I am dying to try making these recipes I'm haunted by the memories of crying.... that is, until I found this picture which solved all of my problems.

Ladies and gentlemen....  cutting onions.  Like. A. Boss.

These men are geniuses!!  

Anyone have a motorcycle helmet I can borrow?  I promise to make you one of these recipes in return.  Okay? Thanks!

Girl Meets Boy

I recently got a text message from an ex, O, who happens to live in CA.  It was a picture of a Hello Kitty band-aid on his elbow.  I guess you all know by now that I am notorious for buying Hello Kitty band-aids (hello Target dollar bin).  I responded back to him with "Hello Kitty band-aid" and nothing else...  nothing flirty, nothing funny, just an observation.  He responded back with ":) You remembered!.  That's where I left it - remembered what?  Ha.  He wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box. 

Which got me to thinking... how did I meet someone like him?  And why did I date him?  I tend to go for smart guys.  It took me a while to remember the details of our meeting and actually had to ask my friend, M, who was with me the night we met to help fill in the blanks.  And then I started laughing... not because I couldn't remember, but because I had just received this article a few weeks back about the 25 douchiest bars in DC.  The bar we met in is listed at the #18 spot.  Without further ado... 

M and I headed out of my condo in Arlington around 10 pm on a Friday night to go to DC.  It was my Asian soul mate's birthday and he had gotten a table at "_(insert name)_" bar (this place changes names more often than I change my clothes in the morning getting ready for work -which is a lot, BTW).  However, dinner had run late and he was not at the club yet.  I remembered being a little perturbed that they were running late, but in retrospect, it helped validate my thinking that everything happens for a reason.  M and I had to kill some time so we hopped into Sign of the Whale (ugh!) and ordered a round of beers.  We were so out of place - wearing high heels and short dresses while everyone else was in jerseys and jeans.  Whatever, we were there for a beer and then we were heading out. 

Within 5 minutes of being there two men came up to introduce themselves.  M, who had a bf at that time, noticed the chemistry between O and I and chatted his friend up (she "took one for the team").  O was very chatty and decided to tell me what he thought of me as soon as I walked through the door... nothing creepy, nothing skanky... sweet yet ballsy.  He told me that he knew he needed to meet me (why can't more men be this forward?).  I was immediately smitten.  We asked them to come to the next bar with us but they were turned away at the door because O's friend wasn't wearing the appropriate foot attire.  Now, you're probably wondering why I didn't go to a different bar with them.  It's because I'm a good friend and couldn't ditch him on his birthday.  And O respected and admired that.  O and I exchanged numbers as we said good bye to each other and the rest, as they say, was history. 

After a few months O moved to CA, but not before asking me to move with him (not sure if he was serious or not).  Unfortunately, this was around the time I was applying to Grad schools and had to politely decline.  He even offered to help me get into USC (his alma mater) and would pay for it.  He was pretty persistent.  It didn't take much thought or time for me to say "no"...  which made me realize that, while I loved O, I didn't love him enough to make such a huge change for.  He still texts every once in a while to wish me a Happy Birthday or show me Hello Kitty bandaids, but I know nothing else is supposed to happen with us.  I mean, w met at one of the top douchiest bars in DC.  What was I expecting?  But in all seriousness, I'm grateful for the time spent with O and cherished every moment we had together.  I'm happy to say that he wasn't the greatest love of my life and am even happier that I have that to look forward to. 


**Side note:  while going to school for my Master's, I met and fell in love with someone who has forever change me.  While we are no longer together, I can honestly say that I felt the love that one would make huge changes for.  And it's something I am looking forward to experiencing again.  See, everything does, in fact, happen for a reason. 

Don't Worry... Be Happy

 

Definitely something to remember for anyone in relationships...  Bob Marley is deep... so deep.   

I wonder what he would say about girls?  That would be an interesting thing to read/hear.  

Here's what Drake says about women like me... you know, smart women:

So, based on these two singer songwriters... smart girls and non-perfect guys are the new IT couple.  Let's see how this one pans out.  

Happy mate-hunting, folks!

Monday Morning Ramblings

Back from Dewey Beach... and wouldn't you know it, it rained the entire time.  M is no longer allowed to pick dates for beach trips.  Although - I guess it's limited to JBS's availability.  So, I'll forgive her...  because if you saw this beach house, you would forgive her too.  But that's not the only reason why I'm friends with you, M... actually I've been friends with you since before the beach house when we used to exchange Harry Potter books and have curling iron bangs....  but I digress.
Well... first let me show you what I mean by curling iron bangs.

Obviously this is not M, but those are what her bangs kinda used to look like!  Amazeballs to say the least!

So, I have really fun friends.  And this weekend just solidified more why I'm friends with these people and why I've been friends with them for so long.  My one friend, B, is the most blunt person you will ever meet.  But she does it in a very loving way... unless she's drunk an then she gets angry.  It's hilarious when she gets surly and talks shit to people right in front of them.  And she talks LOUD... and lots of times I get scared that I'm going to get into a fight because of her mouth.  But it's okay because I know how to 2, 3, 2 a bitch!

Drunk angry B is amazing to watch.  Case in point:

• Popping her booty.  She wants to be able to pop her booty like... well, you know.  So I try teaching her (not that I am, by any means, good at it).  And she tries.  And tries.  And tries.  And doesn't care if people are watching.  And she does it at The Lighthouse with men watching.  And she does it on the deck.  And she does it at Rusty Rudder.  And in the streets.  And on JBSs' husband.  Eating Pigs in a Blanket. And on the beach...  it's pretty awesome.  She doesn't give a fuck!  And I've recently learned that you can give both damns and fucks.  

One more week of Summer School and then I can rest for a week before I get back to work...  this summer has flown by.  It feels like only yesterday when I was doing reading buddies with my children.  

Little Things

Things I am looking forward to:

• Dewey Beach with some ladies
• 3 hour car rides to sing, laugh and discuss things
• Kristen and the Noise at the Rusty Rudder
• Orange Crushes
• JBS's amazing beach house
• SPF 8
• M's wedding in October where a shit ton of wine will be included
• A house full of boys not including R (phew, M, we dodged a bullet on this one)
• Decorating a new apartment
• Summer School being more than half way done
• Being able to wear heels again after last Friday's wedge debacle
• Setting up my classroom for school
• Seeing who is in my class for next year
• Eating my hard boiled eggs for breakfast
• Finishing the last Fifty Shades book
• Shaving my legs
• Hugs from the kiddos

Things that make me a good girlfriend

So by now you all realize that I love lists.  And I suppose this is a "part 2" from my previous post about things that make me a bad girlfriend.  So, without further ado, I give you "things that make me a good girlfriend":

1. I like to cook for my man.  I can cook really delicious things that aren't healthy but are most definitely "man approved" (this was on the "things that make me a bad girlfriend" list as it can lead to weight gain).
2. I love going to sporting events and tailgating... something I missed out on while attending JMU.  
3. I like to buy little gifts if I am out shopping that I know my man will like or that reminds me of him.  I do little things like this to show you I care.
4. Sick men are like babies.  I like to take care of my man by bringing pho or other sick-ish items to them.
5. I enjoy going out with my friends and would like to my man to come hang out with us. 
6. I remember EVERYTHING!!
7. In return for allowing me to cuddle-rape you, I will rub/scratch your back as we fall asleep.
8. I will never ask you to hold my purse.
9. While I love watching cheesy RomComs, I love going to movies and watching horror flicks or action flicks. 
10. I am not afraid to tell you how much I love you (is this something that men like?)
11. It does not take me long to get ready for dates or in the morning.  I'm in and out in about 30 minutes.  
12. I take hygiene VERY seriously.
13. I have hot girl friends.
14. I like to support my man in whatever it is they are interested in.  My favorites being anything athletic. 
15.  I know how to act and look sexy without being trampy.  
16. I am an amazing kisser. 

Damn, how I am still single?

A Proud Day

Here is a video from the country of Korea... I am so proud to be from here.  And clearly, they have my sense of humor... I couldn't stop laughing while watching this.  I hope you enjoy. 

Oohhemmmgeeee!

HAPPIEST.DAY.EVER!!!

I was purging my closets in anticipation of my upcoming move and I found something that I had completely forgotten about.  I'm so happy I found it!  Reminds me of the good old days... when N'Sync concerts were what I was saving my hard earned allowance for.  And when I dreamed that one day I would be Mrs. Justin Timberlake.  And when I was preparing myself for leaving my family for my first year in college (okay, this memory is super sad). 

So, without further ado....  Mr. Justin Timberlake:

Notice the unopened packaging...  how much do you think this will go for?  

Things that make me a bad girlfriend

I present to you... things that make me a bad girlfriend.

1. I like to cook for my man, which in turn, might cause some weight gain... because I can cook really delicious things that aren't healthy but are most definitely "man approved"(this could fall into the "things that make me a good girlfriend" list, too).
2. I like to read really horribly written books (i.e. Fifty Shades, Twilight, any Sophie Kinsella books) and will bring these books up in conversation.  
3. I am a cuddle-rapper - sometimes I'll roll over and cuddle you even if you say no.  Sometime I like to be the big spoon.  What's so wrong with that?
4. I like to hang out with my friends and would like my man to hang out with them, too (this could fall into the "things that make me a good girlfriend" list, too).
5. I can't sleep if you snore at night.... so I will hit you and push you if you snore until you stop. 
6.  I remember EVERYTHING!!!
7. I will rag on you if you take longer than me to get ready... I don't take that long to look pretty.  
8. I will get drunk and cry.  I'm a girl and I get emotional.  Ask my friends from college... we used to get drunk and cry to each other about how much we loved each other.  It was ridiculous. 
9. I will always, and I repeat always, try to warm my freezing cold feet on your warm legs.  And you will hate it.  But deal with it because I cannot.stand.to.wear.socks.to.bed.
10. I like to envelope myself in the comforter like a burrito when I sleep so you will not have the same amount of covers as me. 
11. I will, more often times than not, pick a horrible RomCom if you let me choose the movie. 
12. Never give me the remote - I will "accidentally" land on Jersey Shore or some other equally horrible reality TV show.
13. Sometimes, I wear jewelry given to me by ex-boyfriends.  I will not tell you nor will I stop wearing them until our relationship turns serious.  
14. I don't like PDA (this could fall into the "things that make me a good girlfriend" list, too).... unless I am drunk. 
15. My feet smell when I wear my flats without socks... (I can't believe I just admitted this).

So, all in all, not too shabby.  My list of things that make me a good girlfriend will be coming soon.  So, keep checking back.

Summer School Gems

As I am scheduled to move to Shirlington this September, I signed up to teach summer school.  I wasn't aware that I would have to be there at 7:30 every morning.  That's almost a full hour earlier than normal school hours.  Nonetheless (God, I love that word) I am starting to enjoy it.  It's only 5 hours during the day, 4 of which the students are there.  Include a nice long recess and morning meeting and it's not too terrible.  I'm actually enjoying getting to know the rising 2nd graders... it's making me feel so much better about the upcoming school year (last year's group was horrendous!) As always, the students this year have give me stuff to laugh about, and naturally I am sharing it with you.  Here are a few gems from summer school so far:

A:  How do you spell bitch?  (due to language skills and slight accent, beach for this little girl sounds like bitch)

A: Are those whores on your shirt, Ms. K?  (due to language skills and slight accent, this same girl, from above, horses sounds like whores)

A (yes, same girl from above) during writing workshop wrote:
I went to the pool and beat off in the water.  (not sure what she means by that)

One of my students, E, walked into school today smelling like perfume.  And I kept asking her if she wore perfume.  She kept denying it out of fear that she would get in trouble.  So I tell her that she smells like me (I used to wear this all the time).  I asked her what perfume she was wearing and she replied with "Coco Chanel."  She was wearing Mademoiselle by Chanel, which unfortunately I can no longer wear as the ex, Omar, bought it for me.  But still, perhaps she will be my new mini-me this year... it's clear she already has great taste!  

Okay - so there's not very many funny things... I guess I jumped the gun a little....  still, I hope you enjoyed.  

My Saturday Night

So last night I was wearing super high wedges and I stepped on uneven pavement and totally twisted my ankles.. to the point where I heard a pop.  And it was pretty bad.  Since I used to be a high school athletic trainer, I knew that I needed to R.I.C.E my ankle.  And if you said "She's RICEing because she's Asian" then you are a racist.  R.I.C.E means rest, ice, compression and elevation.  So, it's Saturday night and I'm RICEing. 

Luckily, Mean Girls is playing on TV.  But I also have my computer, my heather grey sweats on, face mask on and some leftover heavy duty painkillers in my system... life is good.  Mean Girls is a fine fine movie and one that every girl LOVES... any girl who says differently is lying.   Now, for your pleasure... a list of some of my favorite quotes from the movie.  Enjoy!

• One time, she punched me in the face... and it was awesome!
• Get in loser, we're going shopping.
• That's why her hair is so big.  It's full of secrets.
• I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... I can't help it that I'm so popular.
• That's so fetch.
• There's a 30% chance that it's already raining.
• And I want my pink shirt back!  I want my pink shirt back!
• You go Glenn Coco!
• Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed. 
•  Gretchen, I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles... And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it... And I'm sorry for repeating it now. 
• Amber D'Lessio - she made out with a hot dog.  
• I don't hate you cuz yo' fat... yo' fat cuz I hate you! 
• Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work! 
•  Most people think I'm lying about being a virgin because I prefer jumbo tampons, but I can't help it if I have a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!
• Yo Yo Yo! All you sucka MCs ain't got nothin' on me! From my grades, to my lines you can't touch Kevin G! I'm a mathlete, so nerd is inferred, but forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the third, sh-sh-sh-shaken not stirred - I'm Kevin Gnapoor! The G's silent when I sneak through your door. And make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don't play it like Shaggy, you'll know it was me. Cause the next time you see her she'll be like, OOH! KEVIN G!  
• Boo!  You whore!