Lately....

Lately during my planning breaks at school, my friend/co-worker will come into my room to unwind, chat and/or complain (productive use of a planning hour, right?)  Lately it's been about friendships and how things have changed with both of us.  Our friends seem to have gone into the next phase of their lives without us.  Long gone are the days when it was ladies night every weekend.  Gone are the days when friends were able to meet up with you for shopping or dicking around at a moments notice.  No more sleepovers for days.  Now, it's husbands and babies and family obligations.  And it's okay.

But when are we (read, I) gonna finally accept the fact that it's OK for people to grow out of a friendship.  Is it even something we (I) can accept?  The fact of the matter is, we all change.  People change and grow.  From priorities to hair color to mindsets.  Friendships shouldn't be an exception.  Friendships changed.  Hell, even my own ideas on friendships have changed.  I used to want a lot of friends.  Now, I'm content with a handful of really close friends.  But these friendships seem to also be changing.  And I get it.  Boyfriends.  Careers.  Health.  Sometimes I actually feel sorry for them.  Because I think a single person can evolve into becoming more diverse.  It's one of the perks of being single.  Am I jealous?  Maybe.  Would life be easier being one of those happy couples?  Possibly. 

But I digress.

One of my New Year's Resolutions was to rekindle some old friendships while still trying to maintain my current ones.  But even thinking about that is exhausting.  Will I stick with my goal and reach out to them?  Probably.  Do I miss them?  Of course.  With a handful of them, not spending every weekend together doesn't mean we aren't close.  As a matter of fact, these friends would come to my aid if I ever needed them.  These friends will 100% be invited to my wedding one day.  On the flip side, some current friendships need a constant daily reminder about the friendship.  Validation.  And it's too much.  Is it a real friendship?  Who knows.  But I do know that with everything that the world has dealt me, I'm not sure it's something I even want to deal with. 

I don't really know where I was going with this....  end soapbox?