My Man

Anyone who knows me can tell you that my number one celebrity of ALL TIME is Johnny Depp.  Though he doesn't have the body like Channing Tatum or the face of David Beckham, he makes my loins quiver like none other.  I first fell in love with him during "21 Jump Street," though I was much too young to even comprehend what was going on in that show.  He killed it in "Edward Scissorhands" and then again in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?"  He is such a versatile actor...  and weird... and mysterious... and dark... and talented... and dirty (in a good way).  Here is a picture that depicts the several different roles Johnny Depp has played. 

  

Have I told you how much I love him?!  

The Olympics

Watching the Opening Ceremonies, I was introduced to this video and it had me in stitches for hours.  I love this video, so much in fact, that I have watched it everyday and I still can't stop laughing...  maybe it's because they play to my Asian side... or maybe it's because they play to my "little kids are adorable" side... but it's hilarious.  My favorite parts are the back kicks and the parents' laughing/commenting.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did/do.

Future Olympics for these kids?  Perhaps... we shall see. 

Are earrings the nipples of the ear?

Due to a certain someone who shall remain nameless, I have become addicted to yet another horrible smut show... Pretty Little Liars.  The premise of the show is unrealistic (but aren't they all, really?) but the girls on the shower are super hot and the fashion is even hotter.  On several of the episodes I noticed that the lead character, Aria, wears some unconventional outfits that only someone of her beauty and size could pull off... and the most unusual of her outfits happen to be her earrings.  Here are a few pictures to give you a better idea:

The earrings brought me back to my elementary school days when my sister and I would rock the most amazing (read hideous) earrings known to man.  When we were growing up, we didn't use to have to work very hard to get a little bit of money every now and then.  And my sister and I would LOVE to go to a certain accessory store and shop until all our money was gone.  The store used to have these ridiculous sales (something along the lines of 5 earrings for 5 dollars) and the walls would be covered from top to bottom with every different kind of earring known to man. 

The other night a Caboodle case happened to appear on a chair in my room.  And when I looked through it I was brought back to these days mentioned above and all the wonderful outfits I would put together to match these amazing (still read hideous) earrings.  I went through the earrings and put together a collection of what I consider to be some of the best.  Here they are in random order:

These happen to be one of my favorite ones.  I used to wear these ALL THE TIME!... this was back when I used to wear lots of color.  Hard to imagine given my black and grey wardrobe.  

How did I know back then that I was going to become a teacher?  These holiday earrings SCREAM teacher!  Jingle bell ones for Christmas, ghost ones for Halloween, shamrocks for St. Patty's Day and two red, white and blue ones for the 4th of July.  My favorite from this picture happens to be the Easter trolls... yes, those are eggs that they are sitting on.  Though I never plan on wearing any of these for holidays while I teach this upcoming year, ask me again when I'm an old teacher... I might need something to match my hideous teacher holiday vests.  Don't judge me. 

Who doesn't want animals on their ears.  The dolphin earrings have a velvet texture to them.  The flamingo ones I would actually consider wearing given the neon fad going on currently...  and who doesn't want to be South Beach trendy?

This might be hard to believe but I was at one point obsessed with hearts.  This was probably WAY before heart breaks even entered into my life.  These are just a few of the heart earrings I bought. 

These were some of my heavily rotated ones.  If you can see, the key does fit into the lock.  And the cheese does fit into the stomach of the mouse.  How awesome are these earrings?  I might actually rock one of these soon.  Mark my word. 

Different earrings.  The bear one... no words.  The cheerleader and football player ones I don't think I ever wore.  Maybe my sister did?... who knows.   Obviously I can't wear those now because the girl's shirt has HS on in... I'm out of school so I can't wear these, obvi. 

One of my favorite color combos was black and white with a touch of yellow.  I used to look like a bee.  Black and white stripped t-shirt with yellow shorts.  Lovely!  I used to wear the shit out of these earrings.  The black ones with the yellow and white polka dots used to be in my top 5s.  I guess I used to like me some polka dots, too.

Around this time, the Chicago Bulls were all the rage.  I used to have a friend, who I wanted to be so much like (the very same one that I wanted to join the Girl Scouts for), who was obsessed with the Bulls...   so anything I found in red, black and white I would buy to impress her.  She used to love these earrings.  Oh man, did I used to love the red hoops... maybe that's why I still rock the oversizedd JLo hoop earrings.  Hmmrph.  Something to think about.

This is a pair with apples and a worm coming out of it... kind of hard to see.  I don't think I wore them often as they used to make too much noise.  But is this a little foreshadowing into my current career as a teacher?  Mayhaps it was.

Ladies and gentlemen... we have come to the part where I round out the rest of my top 5 favorites.  These three were always being worn... especially the jewel looking ones...  I used to wear me the shit out of pinks and purples (I know, right?).  Those were my go-tos...  and as much as I loved hearts, I loved stars just as equally.  Where did my girly side go to? 

Here is my small collection of gold earrings.  If it wasn't hairy or made of wood or acrylic, my favorite material would have been gold.  I never used to like silver...  funny how life turns out... now I prefer silver to gold... I'll wear gold now, but I prefer the look of shiny silver.  Check out the zebras.  What was I thinking?

It was interested to go back and see how my tastes have evolved.  After I stopped buying so many earrings (probably because I realized that boys were cute) I stopped wearing my awesome colorful outfits.  Gone were the days of troll earrings, Lisa Frank and color.  When I reached middle school I said hello to grey, black and thug-like.  I became obsessed with wearing sweatpants and K-swiss shoes...  pull my hair back into a tight ponytail, add a part of gold hoop earrings (much like the ones I still wear today) and I had my newest look.   If only you guys were around to see it. 

Until I get sick of my current style, I'll continue to watch PLL... maybe something I see will drive me into my next fashion look...  oh boy, I can't wait.  

Missing In Action

Sorry punks... it's been a while.  I promised myself that I would do more writing during the summer but, alas, I haven't.

Too much stuff going on...

Too much money being spent...

Too many drinks being had...

Too many Pretty Little Liars marathons...

Too many emotions swirling around in my brain... 


But the real reason I haven't been writing (I usually do this before I get to bed if I have the chance) is because I've been behind the curve and I've needed to catch up...  with Christian Grey.  And his spankings.  I finally (after a lot of protesting) borrowed a copy of 50 Shades of Grey and have slowly been reading it before bed.  And it makes me mad.  How can so many people be so obsessed with a book with horrible writing and shock value?  I guess that's why the Twilight series was so huge.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll finish this trilogy, but I'll be mad while I read it.

In the meantime, I'll do my best to balance reading and writing.  But until then...  laters, baby! 

Like a fiiiiiiiine wine

Saw Magic Mike the other day.  And let me tell you... the dancing and the men (minus Tarzan) were superb.  Matthew McConaughey did a stellar job being a creepy strip club owner and weirdo actor.  And let me tell you how hot he looked.  HAWT!!  So hot I couldn't even spell it correctly.  Today, after a long day of helping a friend move, I plopped my ass on the couch to veg and wouldn't you know it, A Time To Kill was on.  And MatMcCon looked HAWT!  MatMcCon was so hot when he was younger.  And now, he's even better looking.  Like a fine wine, he got better with age. 

Maybe it's because I'm older and my tastes have matured, but I find that the older a man gets, the better looking they get (in most cases).  That got me to thinking about what other actors have gotten better with age.. because let's be honest, most have not ::ehhemmickeyrourke::

Here is my top ten list (in no particular order):

1. Matthew McConaughey
2. George Clooney
3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (even though he's still young)
4. Collin Farrell
5. Justin Timberlake
6. John Stamos
7. Johnny Depp
8. Robert Downey, Jr. 
9. Hugh Grant
10. Matt Damon

Feel free to add to the list or state your own opinion... until then, I'll be watching MatMcCon do his sweaty hot thing in the courtroom.

3s and such

They say bad things come in threes (wait? is that strictly death?).  I've totally experienced 3s the past few days...

1) Infection of some sort - thought it was a sinus infection but could have been bronchitis.  Not quite sure.  Amoxicillan sucks ass and doesn't seem to be doing the trick.
2) Canker sores - the worst...  I have three little spots all in an area together...  first one from biting my lip while eating (hurt like a bitch), the other two from biting while eating (hurt even more).  I gotta stop eating. 
3) Back pain - pretty sure I aggravated it while I was wearing heels and running around.  I'm currently walking around like I've just had butt sex and/or have to poop.


And such...
I'm a pretty happy person.  But there's always things that happen that chap my ass.  Here are things as of recent that have definitely chapped my ass.

• girls sized 2 or 4 who talk about how skinny other girls are and think they are fat after seeing said skinny girls.  STFU... you are crazy and have issues if you really believe that.
• guys who text "LOL"...  I am not interested in dating a 14 year old girl, so stop texting like one.
• girls who wear shoes that are too small... I don't want to see your big toe hanging off the front of your sandals. 
• dudes in preppy shorts who come to a pregame without bringing their own beers/drinks. 
• when cute shirts don't fit around big boobs such as mine.  ugh.  
• the area on your body that gets sunburned because you miss the area with sunscreen and then you look stripped.
• camel toe on girls at Zumba - put that shit away.
• People who show up to newly released movies 2 minutes before it starts, expect to find good seats, can't find seats together and then ask people to move down so they can sit together.  Ummm, no. 

I swear I don't usually complain this much... I'll blame it on the heat.  

Lyon Hall

Have you ever been into the bathrooms at Lyon Hall?  It's kinda creepy slash kinda cool.  You see the bathrooms are 100% always a surprise to any Lyon Hall n00bs.  The sink area has no mirrors.  Instead, you look into the other bathroom's sink area.  Women can look into the men's bathroom while they wash their hands and vice versa. 

Here's the problem...  if you're anything like my friends and I, you've usually had too much HH wines and you're slightly buzzed.  That's when you forget about the Lyon Hall bathroom's unique setting and after you handle your business you are startled when you look into the mirror only to have a hairy Italian man looking right back at you.  My first thought is always ::Hey, I thought I shaved my 5 o'clock shadow::

Anyways...  my plan for the next time I'm there:  I want to imitate the man's movements as if it were a mirror.  You know, like those joke shows... I feel like I could pull it off... especially if I've been drinking. 

That is all. 

I hope you all had a fabulous 4th of July...  I got a sunburn, pulled my back and drank my face off.  I'm getting too old for this shit.